A Time for Healing

Question: How do you get 200 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Answer: You just ask!

I got a note the other day from Fly tying Master Uncle Johnnie saying that there ‘s been a large response to my latest blogs from our esteemed North North American neighbors- i.e. Canadians.  I am both thrilled and incredibly concerned at the same time.

My experience with this fine country and its countrymen has been singularly positive.  I ‘ve never met a rude Canadian- unless you lump in the migrating Canadian goose for which I have a serious problem with their lack of common toiletry skills. I also find the mixture of French and English language usage, without actually having to be French, a wonderful and exotic mixture.  Couple that with some astounding beverages- my all-time favorite micro beer named Kingston Cream Ale- and what ‘s there to not-like?  Beautiful snow skiing mountains, fly-in fishing lakes that are unfettered and teaming with huge lake trout, walleye, and pike, and the idea that you could very easily disappear and not have John Strassel from NBC hunt your ass down to do an expose on why you were gone for 2 weeks.  There may very well be a place left there that does NOT have pager and cell phone coverage sigh.

So, what ‘s the worry? I ‘ll tell you.  I look at the Canadians as sweet, loveable, and possibly naive people.   Naive  in that they may (and you know who you are) not understand that most Americans have hidden agendas in most of what we do, and say.  Not all Americans are like that, say 99.9999999% are.   See, now the Canadians that I know will reply with, ” Well, I suppose that still leaves a few fine folks, eh?”  My concern now is that my writings may somehow perpetuate that undercurrent of Americana, hoisting it onto the unsuspecting shoulders of my neighbors, undeserving as it is.  My words filling their heads with gibberish, leading them down the dark path of my hidden, evil plans.  What is the cost for my strip mining of their purity, there beauty and love? Do Americans have to destroy everything we touch?  Where is the justice in what we do as a people to those we share borders with?

(Cue the bold, classical music)

I will go so far as to say that we Americans owe our brothers and sisters to the north a debt much larger than can be realized. But, a life ‘s journey begins with a first, single step.  Let me propose to my wonderful readers from Canada that we come together to find a common ground that we may agree upon, so that we may build a foundation for the generations to come. Let our children enjoy the fruits of our sacrifice, as we do of our forefathers.  If you should find it in your hearts the ability to forgive the spoiled children of the U.S. for our youthful ignorance,  I propose a summit. One where I may come to visit your wondrous bounty of nature by seaplane so that I may meet your constituents in your expansive lodges along pristine lakes and rivers.  We may then rise with the sun and enjoy the limits outlined by the fishing and wildlife authority. And, feasting on fresh catch with the sun gently sinking into the edge of the horizon, ponder how many more days that we may need to spend before we can start anew. The cost to Canada and its brethren would be so little compared to the gains that could be realized.  I would be willing to place myself on the steep precipice of no return, my very soul on display with no safety net.  My enduring hope is that someone out there in the wilderness of Canada could see the true value of my willing sacrifice in that they may invest in that dream.  The dream that I would be willing to accept a round trip ticket to an all-inclusive fly-in lodge with guide and license pre-paid.  And that three meals would be provided for sustenance so that our joined parties might fix what is surely the broken bond between us. And, in return, I would surely expound on this meeting in my blog with a kind eye and hope in my heart that future endeavors to our magical, meeting place would keep our countries strong and prosperous.   So, what say you O Canada?!  Is your very future worth this tiny price?!  Are your children not worth it?!  How can you not say that your homeland is worth every sacrifice to keep it clean and pure of the under-handed outreach from your greedy neighbor?  It is time my Canadian friends.  Time to make my dreams, OUR dreams come true.  Thank you in advance for any possible direct flights.

-Editor shall remain nameless to avoid any nasty tax issues. Call me Mr. X